The Milk Chocolate Mine

Not to be outdone in the imagination department, my Great-Uncle Ralph tried to come up with aspects of Santa Claus, the elves, the reindeer and the North Pole that were a little bit out of the ordinary. Anyone can come up with the traditional stories of Santa Claus and the elves, but to come up with tales of a milk chocolate mine has to take either a mind of a genius, or an out-of-this-world imagination - or both.
The Milk Chocolate Mine is a one-of-a-kind phenomenon and can be found only at the North Pole - if you are looking for it. Not too many people do, thus the obscure nature of it.
The mine is an endless cave of as many chocolate delights that you can think of. Anything ranging from milk chocolate, to dark chocolate, to rocky road, semi-sweet, white chocolate, peppermint chocolate and even plaid chocolate for the children in Scotland.
No one knows how far back or deep the mine goes because the elves keep discovering chambers after chambers.
The mine is maintained by the two oldest elves at the North Pole - Joe Blo and Mac. They have run the mine so long that Santa has often entertained the idea of changing the mine's name to Joe Blo and Mac's Mine. But the elves keep vetoing the suggestion saying it has always been the Milk Chocolate Mine and it should always be known as that. After all, tradition is tradition.
There has been one mishap at the mine that lead to Mrs. Claus needing to intervene.
As you can guess, one day there was a cave-in, trapping Joe Blo and Mac deep in the peanut butter chocolate chamber. Luckily, Right Turn Tom and Comet were in the mine ready to carry a load out when the cave-in occurred. Right Turn Tom sent Comet to get more help and he came back with Santa, other elves and some of the other reindeer. The question was just how to remove the chocolate. Well, you guessed it, the best way was to eat their way to the trapped elves.
It was a sight to behold. Santa, the elves and the reindeer on their knees eating mounds and mounds of chocolate. Their faces smeared with the edible delight, chocolate was under their fingernails and even under their toenails as they resorted to digging with their feet when their hands got sore. It took three days for the group to get to Joe Blo and Mac who were doing the same thing. Well, the result was a bunch of fat and over-sugared elves and reindeer. Needless to say, the reindeer were in no shape to fly and Santa couldn't fit in his suit of red. And the elves were so bloated that they all resembled miniature Santa Clauses.
So Mrs. Claus put the entire bunch on a strict diet. No more cookies, no more candy canes, and most of all, no more hot chocolate. Just a bunch of celery and carrots - and those are hard to find at the North Pole.
It was tough, but thanks to Mrs. Claus, the reindeer got into flying shape, the elves got back to their original shapes and Santa Claus lost just enough weight to maintain his jolliness. Christmas was just the same as it always was.
I'm sure you can guess what the chocolate is used for from the mine - for the stockings. The chocolate is mined, sent to the shaping and wrapping department where they are molded into little Santas, elves and reindeer and wrapped with colorful foil by Speed On Ahead and Keep Off The Grass.
So the next time you bite the head off of a Chocolate Santa, remember that it was Joe Blo and Mac who mined that chocolate so you can have a big dentist bill.